A Psalm for Afghanistan

 Psalm 120 came alive with some research.

The author is distressed as he lives in Meshach in the tents of Kedar. Where and what do these mean?

The grandson of Noah, Meshech is described as a human trafficker in Ezekiel 27:13. Cities and regions were named after people, so I assume that the Psalmist had landed in a place with purveyors of humans around him.

Kedar is not better. The name means blackness and sorrow. The tribe of Kedar was known as warriors who were never at peace. They won some, they lost some, but they were always at war. This link has some fascinating data to think about. I haven't verified that they know everything they are talking about, but it provides some historical speculation. https://nabataea.net/explore/history/12tribes/

These places sound like modern times, don't they? Human trafficking, war, blackness and sorrow.

So back to the beginning of the chapter. When we cry in our distress in the tents of sorrow, trafficking and war, God hears. He might not answer as we think, but He hears.

So consider the story of Ruth and Naomi with me. Everything that could have gone wrong, did. But it wasn't the end of the story. No, in the end it was redeemed by even giving Ruth as an outsider a place in the family tree of the Messiah, Jesus. Ruth and Naomi came in a sense of the word, from Kedar (blackness, sorrow) to enter into a story of hope and redemption in Israel.

Whether we get to see the end of the story that is currently happening in Afghanistan where the Taliban seem to have a huge lot in common with the warriors of Kedar is not the point. The thing we need is to believe that God is still good, that He is still working on drawing people to Himself, and He is still redeeming stories like Ruth and Naomi. He is offering unlikely opportunity and position to people who trust Him. The people, like Ruth, may never know what that important role was, but God does. 

In this moment, we know God hears. God is doing something. We may not see it, but we can rest assured that He is working just as He always has. We just need to trust Him. 

And yes, it doesn't feel fair or right that we are safe and blessed while places like Afghanistan or Myanmar are in the middle of fire. We can pray. We can ask God how He wants us involved in the world. We can trust that God, not evil, will win in the end. And instead of worrying about what all might happen before the end of the world, let's make sure our hearts are ready for the End of our lives.

The Voice of a Woman

 This article started my thinking:

https://velvetashes.com/lessons-from-when-i-belonged-at-the-zoo/

And a quick Google search found this article:

https://lausanneworldpulse.com/lausannereports/740/06-2007

All my life, I have been told to tone it down. Be quiet. Don't say anything. And I understand why. 

I don't want to challenge authority, and I'm not here to throw out the status quo. I'm not here to say we need women preachers, etc... God forbid that anyone think so.

But these articles bring me to tears. Not just for my personal experience, but because I know the stories of other women. 

And I remember how closely I broke down and cried on the spot when a preacher told me that single women are an essential and needed part of the church. I didn't know him well enough to cry in front of him, but I did on the way home. I didn't realize how much it meant to be seen as fully human for once. To be seen by a Mennonite man as having something to offer to the church.

It's okay for women to go to foreign places, but then their voice doesn't matter. Especially if they are single. I'm speaking for silent ones. I know. May I ask why we can go and are encouraged to do as well as "not waste our lives waiting on the man," but then be treated as 2nd rate citizens whose opinions don't matter when we show up?

If women's Sunday school classes can be taught by women, what would a sending organization for women be like if at least a few ladies were on the executive panel? At least a women's auxiliary of member care?

I'm not here to shake everything loose, and for the most part, the male led businesses that I have worked for are far more functional than the female led enterprises. I personally tend to feel more secure when there's good solid men in leadership. 

But my personal plea is this: only a female cheerleader gets what it feels like to be a woman running a race. What about putting a single woman or two on a plane to visit the women serving around the world instead of the board and their wives? What about a class taught by a woman to women who want to go to the field? Or other prepping that is not all male led?

I know. It falls flat coming from one of us. But it's my appeal. You don't need to shift the world several tectonic plates and cause an earthquake. Just acknowledge there's a few things about women that it takes a woman to understand, and leave us to our tea party devices.

There's places where women might have stayed, and would still be making a major impact if they would have had the moral support they needed. There's losses that should be mourned by men and women who passively watched women burn out. We needed you. We forgive you for it, but I for one won't watch other women go down. So I use my small voice to say this... 

Women need women in places where their voice is heard and understood. 

Springs In Baca

 "As they go through the valley of Baca, they will make it a place of springs..." Psalm 84:6

Google Baca, and get inspiration. Baca is the place of weeping. A place where the trees are known to "weep" resin and sap. Possibly the verse is just talking about a difficult season vs. an actual place. Make sure to notice that Baca isn't a destination in the verse, but a place to travel through. We aren't stuck in it. 

Don't forget the verse says that it will be a place that springs life. The place of weeping will become a well.

Other valleys come to mind like this: "...make the Valley of Anchor a door of hope." Hosea 2:15

All throughout the Bible, there's a theme of horrible turned into amazing. Sorrow upgraded to Joy. I'll let you think through the Stories, and latch on your own favorite one where God brought joy to someone struggling.

Let's zoom in on the verses that touch on the topic of joy:

"Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10

"In your presence there is fullness of joy." Psalms 16:11

"Weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning." Psalms 30:5

"...to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;" Isaiah 61:3

"Joy shall be in Heaven over one sinner who repents, more than over 99 just who need no repentance." Luke 15:7

"These things have I spoken into you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full." John 15:11

I could stop here and just have all of us meditate on these verses, but I'm seeing a few truths.

Nick Ripken quoted the "But joy comes in the morning" verse, and talked about how it didn't come in Somalia. My personal experience is that it certainly doesn't come in 12 hours like a literal morning does. This doesn't nullify the truth of the verse, but reality is that we don't necessarily find joy in circumstances.

What I often miss is that joy is found in His presence. Jesus shared the secret to joy in John 15: abiding in Him. Our circumstances may never change, and we may always have drama, but we don't need to define life by it. We need to fix our eyes on the Only One who can bring deep joy, and not get distracted by the trials, craziness and whatever curve ball comes.

His joy is our strength. We might go through the Valley of Baca, but He needs to be our destination. Finding Him is enough to carry us through.

We can trade our sorrows for the joy of the Lord as the song goes. So how does that happen? Focus on Him. Meditation on verses. Surrender to letting Him do it on His time. He keeps His promises.

Transfixed by Transfiguration

Mesmerized is something I don't get very often in this day and age. Jaded by life, I kinda don't get surprised by much. But there's something worth getting mesmerized by. Come check it out!

What is transfiguration? 

Can we join Moses and Elijah in being transfigured?

First of all, I searched for definitions.

Transfiguration: a change in form. Metamorphosis of a butterfly.

Transformation: a remaking of something. A remodel. House flipping.

Thanks to a bunch of different sources recently, the Negeb desert has come up a lot in my personal studies. Ironically, Elijah and Moses both had God Encounters in the general area of this desert. 

Moses met God on a mountain at the far end of the desert. I liked how Danielle Wheeler pointed out that God promised him that he would be back, with the whole nation of Israel. Their wandering around the wilderness was fulfilling this promise.

I get excited about the fact that entire chapters of Exodus are conversation between God and Moses. There's the tent of meeting where Moses went to talk to his best friend, God. And his student/helper, Joshua, stayed by the tent of meeting all the time. Details I never noticed.

Moses eventually took on a glow that scared the people because he had spent enough time worshipping God. I paraphrase Evelyn Underhill who says that "worship is the way to allow the influence of God on us." Imagine what that influence could be!?!? Wouldn't a glow be great?

Elijah dropped off his servant in Beersheba, and then went on into the desert. First, an angel fed him. And God spoke to him there.  I don't think that Elijah had plans to meet God. In fact, God woke him up for their conversation.

Later, Elijah was having his last moment with Elisha, and Elisha asked for Elijah's spirit to stay with him. There's some miracles that happened as well, but for transfiguration sake, I want to zoom in on this: other people recognized the spirit of Elijah on Elisha. Somehow they knew.

There's hope for us in the wilderness. The prophets who were in the transfiguration with Jesus both met God there. I'd say we're in good company if we find ourselves in the wilderness, as unpleasant as it might be.

So can we be changed like they were? I think so. Even if we don't get to the glow of Moses, we can at least get close enough to see what the disciples saw. Recently I came across the words of 2 Peter 1 where he writes about the experience. They weren't transfigured, but I think the disciples were transformed. Either way, seeking God enough to experience Him is worthwhile.

One thing that I noticed in both the Old Testament prophets' lives is that the change was seen by other people. Both of them had a follower who would rise up to take their place as a leader. I don't think we can experience transfiguration or transformation without rubbing off on other people. Change doesn't stick with one, but continues it's contagious journey onto others.

So wilderness journeys are the hot, arid, melting points that shatter us, not just to break us. They shatter us so we can experience more of God in our life. Shattered in order to get transformation and transfiguration. Shattered so we become part of powerful beacons of light in a dark place that Peter talked about.

Dive into your study, and then tell me what you got mesmerized by. 

Tamarisk and Fig: Inspirational Partners

 Ever wonder what plant Hagar threw her son under?

Ever wonder what Abraham planted by the well?

What about the tree Nathaniel was sitting under?

The list could go on and on, but there's 3 scenes that I have been reflecting on.

Hagar had run from a harsh woman, and felt like the end was there for her and her child. She throws her son under a tamarisk tree. God came and met her, and she was thankful for the "God who sees me." We all have moments when we need an intimate encounter with God. If He sees, we know it's going to be okay.

Abraham had a bunch of problems with well squatters. They kept taking over his hand hewn wells, and finally they had a "come to Jesus" moment. After the promise was made that there's no more snitching, Abraham plants a tamarisk tree. And he stays for many days in the land of the Philistines.

So what is significant about the tamerisk? They can survive in drought and salty conditions. They have a honey like substance called manna dripping off.

In the context of working overseas, this stands out. Tamarisk inspire us to survive the droughts of life. We can give off a sweet substance. We can be a shelter for someone in trouble. After Abraham planted the tree, he stayed in the foreign place for a long time.

Nathaniel sat under the fig tree. If you watch the Chosen season 2, episode 2, you'll understand this better what is mentioned in John when Jesus called him. Jesus was not visible to him when Nathaniel was under the tree, but at the time of his calling, Jesus tells him that He saw him under the tree. Before you get your calling, you are seen.

The significance of the fig tree itself is found in it's fruit. The fruit is a super good for anything that ails you. Google it. Jesus cursed one that had no fruit. This was a good food to eat when you were on a journey and needed a little energy. 

So God sees the things going on under the trees. He made the tamerisk to survive the desert, and the fig to help us survive.

When life is dry, be like that tamerisk and thrive in spite of the conditions. And if you need to, reach for a fig to tide you over.

Tamerisk and Fig. Your inspirational partners found in nature.

P.S. Their relative, the flamboyant tree in Asia and tropical areas of the world is known to bloom at the end of the dry season before the rains come. When most things are brown, it blooms. When life looks brownish, bloom!

Another in the Fire

 T shirt ads pop up all over social media. I normally skip over them without much of a second glance. But then one with, "There was Another in the fire." 

Daniel is the familiar character we associate with being in the fire. Jesus was seen even by the king who ordered him and his friends thrown in. 

God held back the flood of water so the Isrealites could walk through on dry ground. Fire, water, earthquake... God is there.

Moses had multiple crisis scenarios with Pharoah before the people were finally allowed to leave. God was there, creating plagues in the middle of it all.

In the 2021 Velvet Ashes retreat, (a great resource group for women working overseas/inner cities) Danielle Wheeler talked about the burning bush scenario where God promised they would be back at this mountain. The wilderness years of the Israelites weren't just because they sinned. It was because God had preplanned this wilderness journey, and wanted to be their only God. Wilderness is designed to strip us from our idols. In the middle of the fire, we want to make demands of why. But we need to surrender instead and let God do the interior work that He wants. The very reason He led us here is to bring us closer to Him.

Joseph was in prison before he got his breakthrough. God was with him in prison as much as He was when Joseph was a ruler in Egypt. In fact, God made sure it was written down that God was with Him.

Job had done nothing wrong, but lost everything and got judged by his so called friends. Eventually, the truth came out, and God restored his life. Initially, it seems like God wasn't there, but I imagine He was actively watching Job like the Father in the Prodigal son story.

More people of the Old Testament could be mentioned. But even after all those difficult dramas, the Isrealites still had to wait through 400 silent years for the Messiah. Even in the silence, God was there sustaining their lives.

God has been there for me over and over. He never left. Sometimes He was silent. But I can see Him as I look back, especially over the past 5 years that have held difficult times. He has brought me through to the other side where I can see it more clearly. He's telling me that He saw all the stretches that felt dark, cold, "unseen" and "misunderstood." He knows the days when I couldn't sing "Jesus loves me," without wondering if it was really true. He knows that the verse in Hebrews about "rewarding those who diligently seek Him" was a hard one that tripped me up when no answer was in sight. But God was there, and He didn't stop there. Goodness no! I KNOW that Jesus loves even me, and He does reward those who seek Him now more then ever.

Fire softens us. Just like most things under heat, we become more pliable if we let God do His thing. We get to choose: better or bitter. It's a testimony to the long rough road, but it was a high compliment on the day that an older lady who I admire from a distance told me that she has seen me soften from when she first remembers meeting me. Sometimes we want the outcome without the pain, but you can't have one without the other. On the day when you don't know which way is up or down, determine to hang on for the ride, and become better. You'll thank Him for it later.

Fire removes dross, the rubbish floating around in our souls. It purifies and cleanses. It changes what we turn to, as it reveals the empty promises of our idols.

Fires are an invitation. Let God into the motherboard of your heart and transform you. Stop trying to control the flames. Just accept the journey, and let God do His thing.

If God calls you to enter into the fire in someone else's life, then offer them an invitation to stop striving and struggling. Say something powerful like, "If you would let yourself cry over all the things, I think you might be crying for a long time." Or "I am surprised that you made it this far." Or "It sounds like you have had a lot of losses." Or "How's your soul?" Start with an invitation of grace. Speak truth later. After they know you care. Sandwich the hard with kindness.

If you are in the middle of the fire, stick it out. It's completely worth it. The changes, the healing, the growth, learning curves, the new compassion, more of Jesus, and just knowing that it is enough to have Him with me in it. I bought the shirt cause it rings true with a deep internal heart string I have. I know fire, and I know there was Another in it with me. You will make it through, and you'll see Him in your fire if you look.

The shirt took longer than necessary to ship. I finally googled reviews on the company which were terrible. Fraud and more. Okay God, is this company is bad deal, or are You wanting to teach me something? Several days later, I was reflecting on episode 2 of the Chosen season 2, and the lost dreams of my own when I got a message saying that the shirt had shipped. In the middle of my burnt up dreams, God was there. There was Another in the fire. Watch the episode, and let it speak to you if you are frustrated with life turning out different than you thought. Sometimes, our dreams are so much smaller than what God has in mind.

A song with these words was part of the Velvet Ashes retreat a year ago. I've added the lyrics to the end of this post for you. The sound track became a regular on my playlist for a while.

There's a grace when the heart is under fire
Another way when the walls are closing in
And when I look at the space between
Where I used to be and this reckoning
I know I will never be alone

There was another in the fire
Standing next to me
There was another in the waters
Holding back the seas
And should I ever need reminding
Of how I've been set free
There is a cross that bears the burden
Where another died for me
There is another in the fire

All my debt left for dead beneath the waters
I'm no longer a slave to my sin anymore
And should I fall in the space between
What remains of me and this reckoning
Either way I won't bow
To the things of this world
And I know I will never be alone

There is another in the fire
Standing next to me
There is another in the waters
Holding back the seas
And should I ever need reminding
What power set me free
There is a grave that holds no body
And now that power lives in me

There is another in the fire
Oh-oh
There is another in the fire
Oh-oh
There is another in the fire
Woah-oh
There is another in the fire
Oh-oh (I can see)

I can see the light in the darkness
As the darkness bows to Him
I can hear the roar in the heavens
As the space between wears thin
I can feel the ground shake beneath us
As the prison walls cave in
Nothing stands between us
Nothing stands between us

There is no other name
But the name that is Jesus
He who was and still is
And will be through it all

So come what may in the space between
All the things unseen
And this reckoning
And I know I will never be alone (I know, come on)
And I know I will never be alone

There'll be another in the fire
Standing next to me
There'll be another in the waters
Holding back the seas
And should I ever need reminding
How good You've been to me
I'll count the joy come every battle
'Cause I know that's where You'll be

And I can see the light in the darkness
As the darkness bows to Him
I can hear the roar in the heavens
As the space between wears thin
I can feel the ground shake beneath us
As the prison walls cave in
Nothing stands between us
Nothing stands between us

There'll be another in the fire
Standing next to me
There'll be another in the waters
Holding back the seas
And should I ever need reminding
How good You've been to me
I'll count the joy come every battle
'Cause I know that's where You'll be

I'll count the joy come every battle
'Cause I know that's where You'll be
I'll count the joy come every battle
'Cause I know that's where You'll be

I'll count the joy come every battle
'Cause I know that's where You'll be
I'll count the joy come every battle
'Cause I know that's where You'll be

Source: Musixmatch

Wolf Pack

 Who is your pack, your tribe? Levi Lusko explained in his book, Take Back Your Life, the nature of the wolves. Yes, they howl, but they also nurture each other. Having a support group makes all the difference between whether you can stay in the battle or not.

So the burning question is, "How do I grow my pack?" 

Diane Langberg in Suffering and the Heart of God talks to the people who help others. She says that you will face secondary trauma, time and again. She said that you need moral support and she is absolutely right.

So once again, "How do you build a pack?"

Praying for one. I think God wants to supply the needs of the army.

Being real. I've started talking more to a few people who have been there as well. I need to dare to be more vulnerable. To do this, you have to be rooted in trust and truth.

Appreciate the relationships you have. If you have always lived in one town, you can take this for granted. The older I get, the harder it is to start new relationships. And if you have a track record like mine of moving a lot, it's even worse.

Don't force it, but be relational. And sometimes cut yourself slack when you don't have what it takes cause you're empty. I understand completely. But take an interest, and introduce yourself even if it's awkward. Especially if you are in Florida and the majority at church are visiting. The locals are not snobs, they are just overwhelmed by all the billion touring Menno. How would you feel if every Sunday morning for a few months more than 50% of the people at church are visitors?

Lusko says body language and posture impacts your connection to the pack. Think about the vibes you give. What you do normally comes back at you. There's a lot to unpack on this so spend your time chewing on the bone.

Spend time together. There's definitely different interests you might share with a few. From buying a burger or ice cream, to reading a book together or combing the beach for shells, find your common ground and go for it.

Right now, I'm blessed with a lot of new people who totally intrigue me. I want to know their stories, and what makes them tick. They haven't lived ordinary lives by the hints I've gotten. I don't know if they are candidates for my wolf pack, or would even want to be. But something makes me want to be a cheerleader pack member for them. That last sentence. Reflect on it. Instead of building your own wolf pack, build someone else up. Be intrigued by them. Take an interest. Build them up. Pray for them.

The best question then is, "How can I bless those around me cause we're 'packed' together in life?

Pain has Purpose

 5 years ago this week, I flew into Myanmar thinking it would be my forever home. It had been my dream, my goal for 9 years prior to that. In fact, to the exact date that only God could have timed. A lot of life, conflict, highlights and lowlights happened the following 2 years. Completely shattered dreams. And I no longer wanted to be there. 

I came home too raw to think straight. If I would tell myself (and you if you are raw) what to do different after "raw," I would say, "chill for a while, and don't rush into anything because you don't want to perpetrate more pain on yourself or anyone else." 

Post Asia, I didn't chill and almost immediately entered into the hell of a few people's lives this side of the pond while trying to sort out my own 2 years of harsh life experience. Some pain was mine, but a bunch wasn't. As we enter into their lives, if you are like me, you don't expect to pay the extravagant cost of feeling their pain as well. I'm still trying to sort this out, but I think it is freeing to acknowledge how hard this burden can be when you lump all of a community's issues together. Vicarious trauma is a thing. In the myriad of global pain, we can learn so many things. They from us, and us from them. This could take so many directions in this universal pain, but let's allow it to be our teacher. 

It was the pain of it all that which brought me to see life from a very different angle. I remember the day when I came to God and said "I am not coming to You to intercede for any ethnic groups. I'm coming cause I need help." My direction and purpose has changed an unfathomable amount since then. (in a good way) When life is going well, we don't ask for help. We obliviously might need assistance, but pain is what opens our eyes to seeing the need.

I never dreamed that I would be living in Florida, working in a hotel as a housekeeper of all things 5 years later. I had other work plans when I moved here, but it turned out different. I don't think it matters. See when life simply doesn't turn out the way we thought, we have a choice: believe that the Bible is true when God says His ways are higher than ours, or not. We also have the choice of how we respond to the pain of life turning out differently than we thought. 

Pain has a way of spelling out what some really foundational truths are for our hearts to understand. For example, my identity as God sees me doesn't depend on what I do. I can be a housekeeper instead of an English teacher and He loves me just the same. My right to Salvation is not any different. 

Pain also can open doors for opportunities you would never have otherwise as Levi Lusko says. He has some great thoughts in his book, 'Take back your life.'  If you are processing pain, read this guy's stuff. If you have not been there yourself, it's hard to speak into something in someone's life.

I remember wanting to shoot the lady who said that some day this whole crazy Asia story was going to be a gold mine for me. It was simply too painful at that moment. But I understand what cross cultural workers face like I didn't before. And I have a completely different outlook on conflict because of it. It ain't all bad, just saying. Your pain is also where you can go mining for more of God. It changed my heart direction in life. So yes, she spoke truth. We learn more through hard times then through the good ones. And we can offer hope to others coming through similar trails because we've been there.

While I never want to relive it, it's my Noah's Flood. There was the before, the during and the after. God got me through it so that is my Ark. It changed everything just like the Flood so nothing was "old normal" anymore. You probably have some experience kinda like Noah's story yourself. This process could be called character development. Let the process of pain happen so you grow from it. You'll find a rainbow after the struggle and say the journey was worth it.

I've also become excruciatingly aware of the coping mechanisms that I turn to because of the pain. Have you ever thought about how absurd it is to turn to anything outside of God? If it wasn't for pain, I may not have turned to these things, but neither would I have realized how easily I can be deceived. Pain has woken me up to see how hell bent I can be. Ouch. Think about it for yourself. Pain is what opens our eyes to better options then self destructing.

One last thing. God wastes nothing. People can judge me for this move to Florida, but I get the feeling that there's a far greater story going on here. Burnout, pain and bad choices of the past may have led me here, but I can't reveal the things yet that are amazing small but important details that so easily could hugely impact my future right in the middle of current circumstances. What if pain leads us to the future vision we want? I'm intrigued to say the least by stuff I didn't see coming. And I think God can do the same for you in whatever crazy unplanned circumstances you find yourself in. Your pain will not be wasted for sure.

So if you are tempted to quit, don't. Your pain has a purpose.