It's been ages since I've written anything on here, and many of things that have stirred in the silence aren't pieces that go on a public blog. But as I reflect and process on the years since the last blog I published, I'm stirred to inspire and encourage others to stay engaged in the rough journey they may be in.
Isaiah 62 talks about the Lover of our souls pursuing us until He sees His own reflection in us. He won't stop there, but will continue till it's obvious to all the people around us. That is the story of the past years. He hasn't stopped dropping relentless drama, and things that were way beyond me into my life. No, He kept it all stirring, rotating, and rubbing raw till it caught my attention. It's only now that I'm starting to see that He was pursuing me out of love. Deep Love. And He's not finished.
He's not scared of going to deep, dark places to help us find light. I could list people that I'm sure wouldn't go there, or who I wouldn't feel safe to go there with, but He's not one of them. He cuts to the core, and He heals at the core. He remembers things I've almost forgotten that left their mark on who I am today, and brings them back to the surface for healing. It's freeing.
He knows the lack of sleep that has been my reality for the past years. He knows how dark my thoughts can get before sunrise comes. He also knows that He can wake me up to pour love and energy into me so I can carry on, after days when I was convinced I'd hit the end of the end walls. He alone knows how many times He's met me in those pre-dawn moments that have formed our relationship into taking new directions.
The places we've gone, the memories of the soul that my Lover and I have... He made sure the electric was out on the night by the ocean so I'd see the stars like I haven't in years. He was there in the archaic, world history sites as I plodded through difficult emotions. He was there when I climbed my way through a rolling refugee camp that was beyond what I could emotionally comprehend. He was there when I saw so many different scenes that have grafted themselves into the fabric of who I am, and He's helping me see them like He does.
He knows it all, and yet He tells me He's not done. My story isn't over. I'm starting to see a little bit more Jesus in me, but He's not finished till my whole world can see Him in me. There is something far greater then I can imagine that He still wants to do. It's not the end, but the beginning.
I'm excited to see what He's going to do.
