Ya’ll don’t need stress’s meaning explained. It happens on so many different levels... and in so many different relationships.
Likely you have also wrestled with how to cope. If you have ways to deal with it that work for you, feel free to share those. For me that might be in spending time doing my hobbies or working in the dirt, or relaxing by the ocean.
Regardless of what I do, there is still that tension in between having enough to give in the many different ways I relate to the people in my hood and how to cope with the stress helping others adds to my life. When am I selfish and take care of me? When should I give something up again and be selfless? I will not pretend to have this tension conquered, even though I barely remember what it feels like to not have multiple intense situations along with my own personal decisions and issues to figure out.
What I do know is that God is faithful, and that He divinely arranges schedules so that I do get an unexpected break right when I desperately need it. I have found that saying thanks for those things, remembering those gifts, and taking a few seconds to notice nature and beauty around me are good coping strategies in the middle of the crunch.
Notice when the themes of a blog you follow speaks exactly about what you are dealing with.
Notice when the stars are bright.
Notice when the hood is calm.
Notice when the schedule flows together.
Notice when you have an internal calm that is not your normal in this crisis.
Notice when your prayers get answered in unique ways.
Notice when people say they are praying for you and thank them.
Notice when you have divine appointments with people.
Notice when plans get changed.
Be grateful for each of these scenarios, for they remind us that God is much closer than we think.
I think it’s these little bubbles of air in the midst of the floods that buoy my spirit most and gathers hope in refreshing doses. It’s also that feeling on a weekend as you reflect back on a full week and remember the wow moments, as you also remember that feeling of last Sunday as you were anxiously thinking about how full this week would be. Sometimes it does feel way overwhelming in a crisis and too hard to hold on to faith. In those moments I am blessed when thoughts suddenly come to me like a verse, a song, or a book title like ‘Girl, go wash your face.’ It’s in moments like this that I know I can relax and trust, laugh or let go just a bit. These are ways to keep giving in the moment.
But we aren’t made to go on and on without a recharge. Recently, I have been blessed with a bunch of recharging opportunities, and I am thankful to not feel as much like a dried out well. Still, I feel the need to defend my well like a panther who won’t survive without this “meat.” So how do we keep from getting burned out in the stress?
Recently I was reminded of the verse that talks about confessing Him with our mouth but our hearts are far from Jesus. I am as guilty as anyone to come running into His presence for everyone and everything else. I run out again before my own heart is touched. But that is what He wants most. Just me. I come to Him every morning, but how many times am I really focused without having someone else’s problems or something else distracting me? I think there is a correlation here between my connection with Jesus and the level of energy that I have. When there is more outpouring then in-pouring for a long period of time, then you run right into a wall that will force you to grapple with this, if you are unwilling to figure it out before.
If you struggle with this, start asking yourself what your truth is. Is it really the truth? Or did you buy into lies at some point and think it was real truth? Stress has a way of turning our world upside down but we think it’s still right side up. I think that we need to be willing to wrestle well with this to turn our relationship with Jesus into the spring it was meant to be.
We need to build in solitudes, retreats, and general soaking in the truth to restore the dry spells that come from constant giving. We finally have to come to grips with the truth that God doesn’t want us to run on empty. It’s not His Will. Did you notice the Sabbath comes every week? Recharge needs to be oftener then once a month, obviously.
I like the idea of high input and high output. High performance might be more of a Mennonite thing than a God thing. But I think doing our best with what we have to make the difference we can in our world for His glory is important. How do you all prioritize and balance this in your life?
Whether I like it or not, drama has a way to find me, and I will probably struggle to balance this fragile piece for the rest of my life. “Running around 3rd base and sliding into home base (Heaven)” doesn’t look as amazing anymore, but if that is my calling, I want to be faithful.
“You never know how strong you are till being strong is the only choice you have.” I know in looking back that I have found this to be true, but I also add that it’s been His strength, grace, and peace that have brought me this far. I wouldn’t choose to watch my friends work through death, divorce and remarriage, or the fights, drama and hurtful words they have heard or said, but I wouldn’t want them to go through these things alone either. So regardless of what you face, and the stresses you know, hang in there.
Wednesday, April 24, 2019
Saturday, April 13, 2019
Identity
In shifting seasons of life, we face questions about who we are and why we are here. During different times, we wear different hats and answer the questions differently. Last year felt like a crisis in this department as I moved back from Asia, began 2 new jobs in a new(er) community, started attending a different church, and bought a house.
I was Ma Yeemon in Myanmar. That was an identity all it’s own. There is a lot wrapped up in moving from one culture and language to another on an identity level. I don’t think we realize how much language or culture plays into who we are.
I also know for the more social people among us, a place where we belong is huge when it comes to figuring out identity. Now that I have a few friends that I regularly connect with and kinda have a rhythm to my schedule, I feel more settled and less rattled.
In the readjusting and re-establishing of moving back to the Usa, there is the realization that I will never be who I was prior to Ma Yeemon. There is grief and loss in the shifting, before accepting and rejoicing in the new happens. In many ways, Ma Yeemon has found a new niche in Intrepreting at school, and volunteering in the community.
But I am also aware that I shift between my city world and the Mennonite world on a regular basis. My other world has no place or box for anything other than a Sarah, Esther, Ruth or Leah... Maybe an Yvonne but any Ma What doesn't really fit. It’s been a journey to find ways to smoothly transition between the two worlds and even merge them a bit, but I am at peace with the struggle. I say this to show how much culture defines us.
The menno world doesn’t have a space for singles over 25, let alone other cultural stuff, but as I look at Jesus culture, there is room for all races to come together and all individuals regardless of marital status. First, we who don’t fit the box can just accept that people don’t know how to wrap our package, and show those who make false assumptions and judgement calls that we choose to still be ok with them. Second, they can become more comfortable with us, and learn we aren’t as weird as they thought, or maybe discover their own idiosyncratic stuff and catch on that at a core level we are all human. Third, I have lived just long enough to know that life has a way of leveling the playing fields and eventually they will all get some hard knocks, so if we had the choice we probably would not want anyone else’s life.
I have an Asian friend who would do almost anything to stay away from other people of the same culture. I understand his struggle. If I didn't, I most likely won't even know him or his family today. And they most certainly wouldn't be people I consider adopted family if I wouldn't have had struggles in the past with my own culture. But I also know that embracing the downside and the hard stuff of our own culture and choosing to look beyond this to Jesus is the best way forward. To accept ourselves, we have to be ok with where we came from, and stop reacting to what we don't like.
So what do we turn to ultimately for our identity? Will we allow negative people to affect it? Will we be defined by those who have hurt us? Will peer pressure have the final say? Will our job or what we are able to accomplish completely define us? Are we human beings or human doings?
We can choose to be defined by He who is greater than the world around us. The One who simply is, and by Him existing, we also live. We are more than conquerors through Him. We are loved more than we can imagine. We are the apple of His eye. He is the God who sees. We are so many things according to the Word. Let's memorize those, but I pray our greater focus is on Him and exalting Him in our minds to help us get a more proper perspective on what our identity is, and where we fit in the big scheme of things.
There will no clearer sense of identity then the day we hear our new name from God and realize His deep love for us. Till then, keep swimming upstream. ;)
I was Ma Yeemon in Myanmar. That was an identity all it’s own. There is a lot wrapped up in moving from one culture and language to another on an identity level. I don’t think we realize how much language or culture plays into who we are.
I also know for the more social people among us, a place where we belong is huge when it comes to figuring out identity. Now that I have a few friends that I regularly connect with and kinda have a rhythm to my schedule, I feel more settled and less rattled.
In the readjusting and re-establishing of moving back to the Usa, there is the realization that I will never be who I was prior to Ma Yeemon. There is grief and loss in the shifting, before accepting and rejoicing in the new happens. In many ways, Ma Yeemon has found a new niche in Intrepreting at school, and volunteering in the community.
But I am also aware that I shift between my city world and the Mennonite world on a regular basis. My other world has no place or box for anything other than a Sarah, Esther, Ruth or Leah... Maybe an Yvonne but any Ma What doesn't really fit. It’s been a journey to find ways to smoothly transition between the two worlds and even merge them a bit, but I am at peace with the struggle. I say this to show how much culture defines us.
The menno world doesn’t have a space for singles over 25, let alone other cultural stuff, but as I look at Jesus culture, there is room for all races to come together and all individuals regardless of marital status. First, we who don’t fit the box can just accept that people don’t know how to wrap our package, and show those who make false assumptions and judgement calls that we choose to still be ok with them. Second, they can become more comfortable with us, and learn we aren’t as weird as they thought, or maybe discover their own idiosyncratic stuff and catch on that at a core level we are all human. Third, I have lived just long enough to know that life has a way of leveling the playing fields and eventually they will all get some hard knocks, so if we had the choice we probably would not want anyone else’s life.
I have an Asian friend who would do almost anything to stay away from other people of the same culture. I understand his struggle. If I didn't, I most likely won't even know him or his family today. And they most certainly wouldn't be people I consider adopted family if I wouldn't have had struggles in the past with my own culture. But I also know that embracing the downside and the hard stuff of our own culture and choosing to look beyond this to Jesus is the best way forward. To accept ourselves, we have to be ok with where we came from, and stop reacting to what we don't like.
So what do we turn to ultimately for our identity? Will we allow negative people to affect it? Will we be defined by those who have hurt us? Will peer pressure have the final say? Will our job or what we are able to accomplish completely define us? Are we human beings or human doings?
We can choose to be defined by He who is greater than the world around us. The One who simply is, and by Him existing, we also live. We are more than conquerors through Him. We are loved more than we can imagine. We are the apple of His eye. He is the God who sees. We are so many things according to the Word. Let's memorize those, but I pray our greater focus is on Him and exalting Him in our minds to help us get a more proper perspective on what our identity is, and where we fit in the big scheme of things.
There will no clearer sense of identity then the day we hear our new name from God and realize His deep love for us. Till then, keep swimming upstream. ;)
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