Identity

In shifting seasons of life, we face questions about who we are and why we are here. During different times, we wear different hats and answer the questions differently. Last year felt like a crisis in this department as I moved back from Asia, began 2 new jobs in a new(er) community, started attending a different church, and bought a house.

I was Ma Yeemon in Myanmar. That was an identity all it’s own. There is a lot wrapped up in moving from one culture and language to another on an identity level. I don’t think we realize how much language or culture plays into who we are.

I also know for the more social people among us, a place where we belong is huge when it comes to figuring out identity. Now that I have a few friends that I regularly connect with and kinda have a rhythm to my schedule, I feel more settled and less rattled.

In the readjusting and re-establishing of moving back to the Usa, there is the realization that I will never be who I was prior to Ma Yeemon. There is grief and loss in the shifting, before accepting and rejoicing in the new happens. In many ways, Ma Yeemon has found a new niche in Intrepreting at school, and volunteering in the community.

But I am also aware that I shift between my city world and the Mennonite world on a regular basis. My other world has no place or box for anything other than a Sarah, Esther, Ruth or Leah... Maybe an Yvonne but any Ma What doesn't really fit. It’s been a journey to find ways to smoothly transition between the two worlds and even merge them a bit, but I am at peace with the struggle. I say this to show how much culture defines us.

The menno world doesn’t have a space for singles over 25, let alone other cultural stuff, but as I look at Jesus culture, there is room for all races to come together and all individuals regardless of marital status. First, we who don’t fit the box can just accept that people don’t know how to wrap our package, and show those who make false assumptions and judgement calls that we choose to still be ok with them. Second, they can become more comfortable with us, and learn we aren’t as weird as they thought, or maybe discover their own idiosyncratic stuff and catch on that at a core level we are all human. Third, I have lived just long enough to know that life has a way of leveling the playing fields and eventually they will all get some hard knocks, so if we had the choice we probably would not want anyone else’s life.

I have an Asian friend who would do almost anything to stay away from other people of the same culture. I understand his struggle. If I didn't, I most likely won't even know him or his family today. And they most certainly wouldn't be people I consider adopted family if I wouldn't have had struggles in the past with my own culture. But I also know that embracing the downside and the hard stuff of our own culture and choosing to look beyond this to Jesus is the best way forward. To accept ourselves, we have to be ok with where we came from, and stop reacting to what we don't like.

So what do we turn to ultimately for our identity? Will we allow negative people to affect it? Will we be defined by those who have hurt us? Will peer pressure have the final say? Will our job or what we are able to accomplish completely define us? Are we human beings or human doings?

We can choose to be defined by He who is greater than the world around us. The One who simply is, and by Him existing, we also live. We are more than conquerors through Him. We are loved more than we can imagine. We are the apple of His eye. He is the God who sees. We are so many things according to the Word. Let's memorize those, but I pray our greater focus is on Him and exalting Him in our minds to help us get a more proper perspective on what our identity is, and where we fit in the big scheme of things.

There will no clearer sense of identity then the day we hear our new name from God and realize His deep love for us. Till then, keep swimming upstream. ;)