“And perhaps what made her beautiful wasn’t her appearance or what she achieved, but in her love, and in her courage, and in her audacity to believe. No matter the darkness around her, the light ran wild within her, and that was how she came alive, and it showed up in everything.” Morgan Harper Nichols
“After the fire, she blossomed. She was fierce yet vulnerable; strong, though compassionate. All the tangles of the woods couldn’t keep her down.” Anonymous
Resurrection is something that is an essential part of Christianity, and yet do we believe this power is within us? Is it transforming our lives on a daily basis? If we aren’t experiencing that, are we pleading and begging for redemption in our own lives?
Can we hang on for the ride and believe that sooner or later, it comes? Darkness, hard stuff, and eternal roller coaster riding do come to an end. This stuff does come to an END! Did you catch that? The story isn’t over till Easter Sunday breaks bright and clear. That might be figuratively speaking, but it happens. And it’s exciting!!! The abyss can’t ever swallow the winning side!
Defiant joy has been a theme for me this year. We’re speeding towards the end of this decade, and 2020 will be here before we know it. In quiet ways, joy has come. Yes, there has been a lot of unexpected drama this year, but there’s also things to rejoice in. Sometimes there has to be a defiance towards negative circumstances in order to preserve the joy, but occasionally it bubbles over in spite of.
In the middle of it, a lot of it boils down to not letting all the sadness, the tough stuff get to us. Are there things that I still cry about? Absolutely. But a positive attitude rests in knowing that God is on the throne, that He will use the circumstances for His glory, and that even if it looks dark, for those who believe, the future is really bright.
Sometimes we need to separate all the parts of our lives, and live in the moment so that the hard drama from one department doesn’t get shipped elsewhere. I know, I wrestled with this one this week when someone tried to infringe on a boundary I set up. If I said no, that’s what I mean, so don’t push it. But some have that audacity. Ok, enough ranting. I can’t allow those frustrations to spill over into other aspects of life. I admit, I'm a extremely spaghetti kind of woman, and can't do the guy "waffle compartmenting" sort of thing very well. But I am trying. This separating piece is a rabbit trail of the main point of seeing resurrection happening in our lives, but it keeps giving me better perspective if I step back far enough to not drag the tough stuff into the great.
On a journey, it's hard to see the resurrection in the making. It's the darkest hour just before Dawn. It's hard to keep hope alive sometimes, but don't give up. Surrender to God, yes. To His timing, His plan, His ideas. But don't ever give up believing He has good plans for you. Tomorrow might be the beginning of the next chapter.
My prayer for all of us is that we become so enraptured with His power and All the Amazing Things He is, that we are no longer affected by the circumstances of our lives. That our one and only desire would be that His Will would be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Truly, that is where Awesome begins.
Let the Light run wild inside us, and spill over into everything else!
Saturday, August 31, 2019
Thursday, August 22, 2019
Offenses
“Try to have an unoffendable spirit, because offenses are one of the biggest blockers in an effective prayer life.”- Brenda Neuenschwander. That’s some good food for thought.
Ever since that damp, foggy morning in a rural village plopped in the middle of Myanmar, I knew I wanted absolutely nothing to do with bitterness. Up till then, it was a struggle. But since then when it creeps up on me, I make a conscious decision to drop it as fast as possible. The ranting old spinster in front of me that day was the epitome of everything I didn't want to become.
Now here I am back in America, almost 2 years later. I recognize I still have space to grow more in this area. I'm not tempted to pray for development in this area, for I fear the bitter lemons to be made into sweet lemonade as much as you do. But I think God sometimes has a kinder way to help us change perspective.
I think what helps me more is to dig into how deeply God loves us. I read recently that the foundation of healthy spirituality is dependent on believing God loves me as much as anyone else. Sorry, not sure which one of several books I'm reading, but knowing that love changes everything. It's profound when God's opinion takes precedence over others. When we know and believe in our hearts what extraordinary love He has for us, all the drama kinda eases away from pounding us on our throats and threatening our "life blood."
I've been bitter at God. There... It's true. I had to forgive Him. At the same time, I knew I had to ask Him to forgive me, too for being bitter so long. God is big enough to handle it, but He is also pained at our misperception of Him. That bitterness was the wall that kept my misperception in place. Be honest with yourself. I may not be the only one who has had some wrong theology going on.
It's not so much about how the offenses come, but what we do after the fact. What do I believe as a result of the event? What have you turned to because of what happened?
There is a lot of peace, and rest after we get past offenses to resting in His love. I've often found comfort in picturing all the bad things on one pile, with all the good things of God on the other side. The good side is always higher, for God can't be outdone. No matter how evil it can be, God has something even more awesome and greater than however large the wicked part is. God’s love is something we can trust, relax in, and believe to be as true for us as for anyone else.
The enemy uses offenses and hard things to keep our eyes off the truth of how much He loves us. We have to step back and see the big picture sometimes, for the right perspective of God and ourselves changes everything. Don’t get swept into what is going on. Sometimes, I simply don’t get involved anymore because I know where I might go in my head emotionally. Learn to sidestep the trap, if you can see it. Reality is if we have God in His proper place on the throne, we tend to have a better perspective on life, too.
Moral of the story is we can either get caught up in the drama of offenses and keeping score, or we can step back, get God in the right place in our hearts, and be able to rise above the situation.
We don't need offenses taking up brain space that we could be using for praying, or offering grace. Yes, we can pray for offending circumstances, but why waste all our energy and time when there are a ton of prayer opportunities out there?
Ever since that damp, foggy morning in a rural village plopped in the middle of Myanmar, I knew I wanted absolutely nothing to do with bitterness. Up till then, it was a struggle. But since then when it creeps up on me, I make a conscious decision to drop it as fast as possible. The ranting old spinster in front of me that day was the epitome of everything I didn't want to become.
Now here I am back in America, almost 2 years later. I recognize I still have space to grow more in this area. I'm not tempted to pray for development in this area, for I fear the bitter lemons to be made into sweet lemonade as much as you do. But I think God sometimes has a kinder way to help us change perspective.
I think what helps me more is to dig into how deeply God loves us. I read recently that the foundation of healthy spirituality is dependent on believing God loves me as much as anyone else. Sorry, not sure which one of several books I'm reading, but knowing that love changes everything. It's profound when God's opinion takes precedence over others. When we know and believe in our hearts what extraordinary love He has for us, all the drama kinda eases away from pounding us on our throats and threatening our "life blood."
I've been bitter at God. There... It's true. I had to forgive Him. At the same time, I knew I had to ask Him to forgive me, too for being bitter so long. God is big enough to handle it, but He is also pained at our misperception of Him. That bitterness was the wall that kept my misperception in place. Be honest with yourself. I may not be the only one who has had some wrong theology going on.
It's not so much about how the offenses come, but what we do after the fact. What do I believe as a result of the event? What have you turned to because of what happened?
There is a lot of peace, and rest after we get past offenses to resting in His love. I've often found comfort in picturing all the bad things on one pile, with all the good things of God on the other side. The good side is always higher, for God can't be outdone. No matter how evil it can be, God has something even more awesome and greater than however large the wicked part is. God’s love is something we can trust, relax in, and believe to be as true for us as for anyone else.
The enemy uses offenses and hard things to keep our eyes off the truth of how much He loves us. We have to step back and see the big picture sometimes, for the right perspective of God and ourselves changes everything. Don’t get swept into what is going on. Sometimes, I simply don’t get involved anymore because I know where I might go in my head emotionally. Learn to sidestep the trap, if you can see it. Reality is if we have God in His proper place on the throne, we tend to have a better perspective on life, too.
Moral of the story is we can either get caught up in the drama of offenses and keeping score, or we can step back, get God in the right place in our hearts, and be able to rise above the situation.
We don't need offenses taking up brain space that we could be using for praying, or offering grace. Yes, we can pray for offending circumstances, but why waste all our energy and time when there are a ton of prayer opportunities out there?
Friday, August 16, 2019
Revival
Life is crazy.
A friend’s husband dies at 36 from dengue fever, and she becomes a widow with 2 middle school age daughters.
4 girls go missing, as if a dad dying of cancer this spring wasn’t enough for a family. Thankfully, they are found.
Being responsible for roughly 300 kids of the 600 at school, and being a voice for their families is a big challenge, but it’s worthwhile. I am super glad for my co-Intrepreter to share the journey with, and in all reality, a lot more goes right than goes wrong most days.
There are volumes of books that could be written by refugees on all the trauma they have endured before they come to America, and even how it continues to happen.
A court date gets cancelled because an Intrepreter didn’t show, so the end of the story still isn’t known.
I see a 7 year old kid and his young friends walking down the street at 9pm, and they aren’t going toward home. My heart cries out for their safety.
Another friend tells me she has a court date coming to separate with her husband... and the job she was offered, is something she has to wait for.
The list could continue...
But this isn’t the point of this blog. I could worry about all these things, and request prayer for a million things. But that isn’t my biggest concern.
The visiting preacher hit it on the head this past Sunday. Casual Christian Crisis was the title of the sermon. My heart breaks over the kind of conversations that are happening in our churches. The insecurity of unstable, stale, passionless pews across America weighs me down more right now than all that stuff I listed at the beginning. When you ask me how you can pray, pray for the church.
I can run myself ragged helping others, and you could, too. You see, the Good Book promises you will always have poor people.
We can find coping mechanisms for our own issues in helping others as well. Is it a good thing to always turn to “good things?” No. Need I say more?
Back to the passive attitude towards the Great Commissioner, who said the whole Story hangs on loving the Lord your God with everything you have, and your neighbors as yourself. We are ALL commissioned. There are no loopholes here.
Last I checked, there was no verse that made any room for hating on people who follow other religions. Hate isn’t anywhere close to a Jesus attitude. Christianity is the only one that talks about a God of Love. I don’t care who you are, or who you think you are, if you truly follow Jesus, you love. It’s not someone more spiritual who is called to it. It’s you. And everyone else who says they are a Believer. End of story. If you can’t love the sinner while hating their sin, you better check yourself.
I’m tired of telling city stories just for entertainment. I long for people who are dirty in the trenches, who get it. People who are struggling with the balance between loving God and keeping yourself passionate, with loving the people around us well. These faithful few exist, and I love them. I am excited to find more of them.
I know it sounds like high ideals, blah, blah... but reality is if you say you believe Him, you need to obey every part of the Word, including the Great Commission. Somehow, we think if we get baptized right, communion right, modesty right, 1 Corinthians 11 right, Proverbs 31 if you are female, and follow Ephesians 5 for relationships, we have the corner on the whole gospel. Really??? I am glad I had teachers who set the record straight, and say that the basis for the Great Comission is found in Genesis 12, right at the beginning of the Bible. God blessed Abraham to be a blessing... for one reason: to bless others. I’m getting the picture that the prosperous offspring of Abraham who live in America are fast losing grasp of the reason for the promise of blessings. If that offends someone, well, go read the Book. I know, truth should be spoken with grace. But I don’t want this truth to be
watered down. There’s a lot of people that I love who need to consider what God might have for them. This isn’t high ideology. It’s what is required of God’s people.
What this boils down to is our hearts. Where are you headed? Is God big enough in your own head to deserve all the glory He can get from your life and all the lives you influence? If we are going to throw our crowns at His feet in Heaven, is Jesus worthy enough in your mind to make sure that halo is far more extravagant than a flimsy Burger King kiddo crown? That crown isn’t about us. Maybe you don’t see it this way, but my Jesus deserves the very best I can offer Him as a gift.
What is your passion? Where has your passion gone, if it feels burned out? We can just be passive about a message on passion, or we can become alive and passionate.
Prayer is important and necessary. But at some point, we also need to rise up and do something along with our prayer.
90% of efforts go to help people who already know Truth. What about the people who were never told Truth?! You can find them anywhere in the world. When are you going to turn at least some of your efforts toward them?
Let’s stop having little “feel good” clubs, pat answers, self righteous and perfect responses in all the right places, and get messy. There are more crazy situations out there then every Family Member working full time combined could take care of. Let’s make it real. It’s not fun and games. It’s the stuff that steep learning curves and roller coasters are made of. You’re going to cry often. But it’s not about us. It’s about what He asks.
It’s time for revival. Real flaming fire. Repentance. Cancelled plans traded in for confession and testimony. I could cry for how much I want to see it. 11 years ago, I was privileged to be present at what we as a group later called ‘Super Tuesday’. That day revival broke loose, and people were changed. That day bonded that group of people like nothing else could. We were the full spectrum of personalities, opinions, and polarizing in many ways. But the revival brought us together. This needs to happen again, everywhere in the world. I am ready to see it again, in all my circles.
Once revival happens in our churches, the neighborhood will be changed as well. We will go out and tell. Only after we get the fires rekindled in our own hearts, can we effectively engage those around us. Henceforth and till revival breaks out, pray for the church. Revival always starts with the church, not the city.
It needs to start with everyone. Every leader, every dad, every mom, every Sunday School teacher, and all the rest. Pedestals need to be eliminated, and together we need to repent and seek God. He will meet us.
God is on the move. We just need to get on board with Him.
A friend’s husband dies at 36 from dengue fever, and she becomes a widow with 2 middle school age daughters.
4 girls go missing, as if a dad dying of cancer this spring wasn’t enough for a family. Thankfully, they are found.
Being responsible for roughly 300 kids of the 600 at school, and being a voice for their families is a big challenge, but it’s worthwhile. I am super glad for my co-Intrepreter to share the journey with, and in all reality, a lot more goes right than goes wrong most days.
There are volumes of books that could be written by refugees on all the trauma they have endured before they come to America, and even how it continues to happen.
A court date gets cancelled because an Intrepreter didn’t show, so the end of the story still isn’t known.
I see a 7 year old kid and his young friends walking down the street at 9pm, and they aren’t going toward home. My heart cries out for their safety.
Another friend tells me she has a court date coming to separate with her husband... and the job she was offered, is something she has to wait for.
The list could continue...
But this isn’t the point of this blog. I could worry about all these things, and request prayer for a million things. But that isn’t my biggest concern.
The visiting preacher hit it on the head this past Sunday. Casual Christian Crisis was the title of the sermon. My heart breaks over the kind of conversations that are happening in our churches. The insecurity of unstable, stale, passionless pews across America weighs me down more right now than all that stuff I listed at the beginning. When you ask me how you can pray, pray for the church.
I can run myself ragged helping others, and you could, too. You see, the Good Book promises you will always have poor people.
We can find coping mechanisms for our own issues in helping others as well. Is it a good thing to always turn to “good things?” No. Need I say more?
Back to the passive attitude towards the Great Commissioner, who said the whole Story hangs on loving the Lord your God with everything you have, and your neighbors as yourself. We are ALL commissioned. There are no loopholes here.
Last I checked, there was no verse that made any room for hating on people who follow other religions. Hate isn’t anywhere close to a Jesus attitude. Christianity is the only one that talks about a God of Love. I don’t care who you are, or who you think you are, if you truly follow Jesus, you love. It’s not someone more spiritual who is called to it. It’s you. And everyone else who says they are a Believer. End of story. If you can’t love the sinner while hating their sin, you better check yourself.
I’m tired of telling city stories just for entertainment. I long for people who are dirty in the trenches, who get it. People who are struggling with the balance between loving God and keeping yourself passionate, with loving the people around us well. These faithful few exist, and I love them. I am excited to find more of them.
I know it sounds like high ideals, blah, blah... but reality is if you say you believe Him, you need to obey every part of the Word, including the Great Commission. Somehow, we think if we get baptized right, communion right, modesty right, 1 Corinthians 11 right, Proverbs 31 if you are female, and follow Ephesians 5 for relationships, we have the corner on the whole gospel. Really??? I am glad I had teachers who set the record straight, and say that the basis for the Great Comission is found in Genesis 12, right at the beginning of the Bible. God blessed Abraham to be a blessing... for one reason: to bless others. I’m getting the picture that the prosperous offspring of Abraham who live in America are fast losing grasp of the reason for the promise of blessings. If that offends someone, well, go read the Book. I know, truth should be spoken with grace. But I don’t want this truth to be
watered down. There’s a lot of people that I love who need to consider what God might have for them. This isn’t high ideology. It’s what is required of God’s people.
What this boils down to is our hearts. Where are you headed? Is God big enough in your own head to deserve all the glory He can get from your life and all the lives you influence? If we are going to throw our crowns at His feet in Heaven, is Jesus worthy enough in your mind to make sure that halo is far more extravagant than a flimsy Burger King kiddo crown? That crown isn’t about us. Maybe you don’t see it this way, but my Jesus deserves the very best I can offer Him as a gift.
What is your passion? Where has your passion gone, if it feels burned out? We can just be passive about a message on passion, or we can become alive and passionate.
Prayer is important and necessary. But at some point, we also need to rise up and do something along with our prayer.
90% of efforts go to help people who already know Truth. What about the people who were never told Truth?! You can find them anywhere in the world. When are you going to turn at least some of your efforts toward them?
Let’s stop having little “feel good” clubs, pat answers, self righteous and perfect responses in all the right places, and get messy. There are more crazy situations out there then every Family Member working full time combined could take care of. Let’s make it real. It’s not fun and games. It’s the stuff that steep learning curves and roller coasters are made of. You’re going to cry often. But it’s not about us. It’s about what He asks.
It’s time for revival. Real flaming fire. Repentance. Cancelled plans traded in for confession and testimony. I could cry for how much I want to see it. 11 years ago, I was privileged to be present at what we as a group later called ‘Super Tuesday’. That day revival broke loose, and people were changed. That day bonded that group of people like nothing else could. We were the full spectrum of personalities, opinions, and polarizing in many ways. But the revival brought us together. This needs to happen again, everywhere in the world. I am ready to see it again, in all my circles.
Once revival happens in our churches, the neighborhood will be changed as well. We will go out and tell. Only after we get the fires rekindled in our own hearts, can we effectively engage those around us. Henceforth and till revival breaks out, pray for the church. Revival always starts with the church, not the city.
It needs to start with everyone. Every leader, every dad, every mom, every Sunday School teacher, and all the rest. Pedestals need to be eliminated, and together we need to repent and seek God. He will meet us.
God is on the move. We just need to get on board with Him.
Saturday, August 10, 2019
Trust
Donald Miller in his book Scary Close, references a conversation with a friend who brings justice to the victims of human trafficking, or merchants of drugs, etc... This man told Donald that the thing these perpetrators had in common was distrust. There is a lot of crazy that happens when people don't trust each other, and even more bizarre when they don't trust God.
We know in our heads that we should and can trust Him, but when life gives us an Abraham situation where we need to leave home with no idea where we are going, or it feels like God is holding out on the promise He gave us, it can be tough.
It’s even more complicated when a situation comes along that makes it feel like God betrayed you. He didn’t, but some events can set you spinning in some crazy ways. This stuff is real.
This has been the summer when God has earned trust back. He didn’t need to do anything to change the lies I was believing cause it was my problem, not His, but over and over, God has touched and healed things that were sore points. I am falling in love all over again with the One who continues to love unconditionally.
In Experiencing God, Henry Blackaby states that what God really wants is a love relationship with Him. This resonates with my personal experience. And when we love someone, we generally trust them. So if we can trust God, we love Him. If we say we love Him, we should be able to say we trust Him. Not trying to be confusing, but love and trust are intertwined.
So maybe like Abraham, you have gotten a word from God and are waiting for more instructions. But you can't act, because it's going to be on God's "to do" list, not yours. When it's out of our control, that's when it feels the hardest to trust.
Or maybe it's closed doors. Possibly a whole series of them. And you wonder when is the right door going to open? This takes trust stretched thin and still believing.
Can we find the space of love enough in our hearts to keep us trusting? Resting on His promises, and enjoying His love is the only way I can get through this murky journey of trust. I have to remind myself that the whole point of the story is walking with God, and enjoying the relationship, not what I do. Maybe that is why we find ourselves in the middle of this quandary in the first place.
If you struggle with trust, just remember the common bond of criminals is their lack of trust. I don't think you want to turn to their illicit ways of running their world because they trust no one.
Maybe you have to remind yourself like I do that I am on a journey of faith. Once upon a time, I had enough faith to call my blog Journey of Faith. What changed? It wasn't God...Here's to digging deeper into faith! In the pregnant pauses of life, waiting for whatever is next, search out His love and trust Him more than the days when faith came easily.
The real punch line on this faith thing though comes in the book of Job. He said, "Even though He slay me, yet will I trust in thee." What he didn't know was it was Satan, not God who was messing with him. And God had told Satan that he couldn't take Job's life. Are we willing to trust God even if it appears He is taking our life? Can we give God the benefits of the doubt and still believe? That's what I'm aiming for, regardless of whether the end of the story is blessed like Job or not.
We know in our heads that we should and can trust Him, but when life gives us an Abraham situation where we need to leave home with no idea where we are going, or it feels like God is holding out on the promise He gave us, it can be tough.
It’s even more complicated when a situation comes along that makes it feel like God betrayed you. He didn’t, but some events can set you spinning in some crazy ways. This stuff is real.
This has been the summer when God has earned trust back. He didn’t need to do anything to change the lies I was believing cause it was my problem, not His, but over and over, God has touched and healed things that were sore points. I am falling in love all over again with the One who continues to love unconditionally.
In Experiencing God, Henry Blackaby states that what God really wants is a love relationship with Him. This resonates with my personal experience. And when we love someone, we generally trust them. So if we can trust God, we love Him. If we say we love Him, we should be able to say we trust Him. Not trying to be confusing, but love and trust are intertwined.
So maybe like Abraham, you have gotten a word from God and are waiting for more instructions. But you can't act, because it's going to be on God's "to do" list, not yours. When it's out of our control, that's when it feels the hardest to trust.
Or maybe it's closed doors. Possibly a whole series of them. And you wonder when is the right door going to open? This takes trust stretched thin and still believing.
Can we find the space of love enough in our hearts to keep us trusting? Resting on His promises, and enjoying His love is the only way I can get through this murky journey of trust. I have to remind myself that the whole point of the story is walking with God, and enjoying the relationship, not what I do. Maybe that is why we find ourselves in the middle of this quandary in the first place.
If you struggle with trust, just remember the common bond of criminals is their lack of trust. I don't think you want to turn to their illicit ways of running their world because they trust no one.
Maybe you have to remind yourself like I do that I am on a journey of faith. Once upon a time, I had enough faith to call my blog Journey of Faith. What changed? It wasn't God...Here's to digging deeper into faith! In the pregnant pauses of life, waiting for whatever is next, search out His love and trust Him more than the days when faith came easily.
The real punch line on this faith thing though comes in the book of Job. He said, "Even though He slay me, yet will I trust in thee." What he didn't know was it was Satan, not God who was messing with him. And God had told Satan that he couldn't take Job's life. Are we willing to trust God even if it appears He is taking our life? Can we give God the benefits of the doubt and still believe? That's what I'm aiming for, regardless of whether the end of the story is blessed like Job or not.
Thursday, June 27, 2019
Just Be
They say no voice can praise just like yours, nobody can dance just like you, and nobody can have the same fingerprints or pupils we have. No one has our story exactly either although we can find people who have similarities.
Sometimes with a “being” mentality, we have the idea that that includes keeping the walls, the covers in place while we hide. Being embraces the broken pieces of our story, and realizes that sometimes “God heals our heart, but not our wounds.” Thanks to Matt Bays, author of “Finding God in the Ruins” I have been contemplating on this... our hearts and not our wounds. Covering wounds don’t help them heal. And most of the time, they surface anyway. Occasionally, they happen in the middle of our face and nothing can hide it. I would rather skip the stories of stitching up my face in Thailand, or cut lips, or well, yeah, some of us just have ways of getting ourselves into weird situations. But eventually the bandage has to come off, and people ask questions.
Let’s get a little more clear. Sometimes we excuse our masks, our false selves and say everyone needs to just accept me being me. That part of just being isn’t what I think we need to keep, just to put that out there.
However, if the story has been hard and broken, just “be” with it, and have real conversations with God about the time you felt betrayed by Him, or whatever it was. Doesn’t mean you have to tell the whole world, but tell the ones that matter.
So back to healed hearts but wounds that won’t scab, and close up with a scar. We will have certain themes that follow us for life, unless God mercifully removes a thorn from our side. Can we accept those parts of the story, and just acknowledge for a moment that we will always “be prone to wander, prone to leave the God we love?” Maybe it’s rejection that keeps your walls in place. Maybe it’s pride, greed, or something else that you hide. Sometimes God helps us let down the guard, the false selves, and the coping mechanism we turn to, and with that, healing comes to our heart.
The wounds of the past can’t be replaced with a new story. If you were abused or neglected, you can not change the stories to be what you needed. Those stories will remain the same. To a certain point, you will have healing and will continue to heal, but the unmet needs will always be there.
We don’t revisit the past for excuses. We go there to find what lies we started believing. When we change our thoughts and beliefs, we change our lives. We may have been harmed, but the coping mechanisms and false selves and unredeemed stories have the potential to do more damage than whatever they did.
If you look back, there’s always a good chance that you will see times where you became more compassionate, more of an advocate because of what you experienced. If you allow yourself to become a better person instead of bitter, there is a good chance you will.
You will probably see pieces of God in it as well that you would never want to lose. Maybe it’s a story of praying that God would help you forget because you were too young to understand or deal with the situation. And then years later, someone apologizes for the situation, and instantly you remember for the first time what you asked God to wipe from memory. God honored that prayer. Maybe it’s a different way He came through for you.
When it comes to “Just Be” in our hard pieces, allow God to use those when He wants to. I remember once when God clearly prompted me to share a piece in Asia that even went against Asian cultural grain. The Interpreter was flipping out on me, but it was the truth. Days later, I noticed one girl was only coming to my class and not general assembly. One day we had a “glare down” because she didn’t believe the truth I was teaching. Non-verbal communication is real, especially if there are language barriers. Later, I found out she struggled with the same piece I had shared. Fast forward a few years, I ran into a man from her primitive village... a God story all its own because it was hours away from the village and we just ‘randomly’ walked into this house on our way somewhere else. She seemed to be doing better, from what he said. For the 3 years in between, she was a regular on my prayer list. In my heart, I believe that I will see her in Heaven and I can’t wait to really talk with not one single barrier like language or an obnoxiously loud and opinionated male Intrepreter from a female speaker to a female audience. So if God tells you to say it, put it out there, even if there is an uproar. And sorry. I don’t feel the urge to spill all and go into details of the hard piece. If you feel the urge to message and ask, I can tell you.
“Out of your greatest pain will flow your greatest ministry.” One of my favorite teachers had me questioning his statement for a while. But it’s true. When we talk about the hard things as He leads us to, God things happen. I remember a weekend where I was asked to share with youth girls. My sister thought I should not do it, and didn’t want to help with an aspect that I wanted help with. But I knew what God had said, so I did what I wouldn’t have chosen myself. And He blessed it in extraordinary ways as that group connected in ways it almost never had before.
Maybe it’s the redemptive theme of my life to tell people that this is true that “Out of your greatest pain will flow your greatest ministry.” Maybe your motif is a bit different, but let the hard pieces be used for His glory. Whatever we do, let’s drop our guards in the circle we find ourselves in, and share as the Spirit leads. There’s a good chance there is a “Me, too” just waiting to happen.
Own your story. The whole bloody, sweaty, sticky beautiful masterpiece is all uniquely and amazingly yours. People have told me that my version of ‘Noah’s flood’ would be a gold mine for years to come. I wanted to throw them overboard, but I know that there is truth in their words. I don’t see it all yet, but I believe somewhere the other side of the rainbow, I can cash in the gold pot and help someone for His glory.
SuperFood:
In 1 Samuel, it talked about difficult and depressing circumstances like his wives being kidnapped and taken for slaves, but “David encouraged himself in the Lord.”
In the Corinthians passages, Paul said his sufficiency is of God. He also talks about not being overwhelmed by hard stuff. Persecuted but not forsaken, cast down but not destroyed. Corinthians also talks about us comforting people like God comforts us.
The thing with super food is that we don’t seem to absorb it as well when life is good. It takes on meaning when we are desperately hungering and thirsting.
So be real with God, and let Him talk back to you. Whatever He has to say, expect profound. I was angry about a certain situation and why the redemption didn’t come till almost 15 years later... God asked me if life would have been easier if it hadn’t happened, resulting in me buying into lies? Umm, no. I don’t think God wants us to believe lies, but this is one of those times when He turned a bad situation into something for my good.
I often contemplate the truth of the words of the rat race lady of Myanmar... “A lot can be accomplished when nobody cares who gets the glory.” (Minus glorifying God) Let God be glorified in your whole story, including the hard pieces.
Sometimes with a “being” mentality, we have the idea that that includes keeping the walls, the covers in place while we hide. Being embraces the broken pieces of our story, and realizes that sometimes “God heals our heart, but not our wounds.” Thanks to Matt Bays, author of “Finding God in the Ruins” I have been contemplating on this... our hearts and not our wounds. Covering wounds don’t help them heal. And most of the time, they surface anyway. Occasionally, they happen in the middle of our face and nothing can hide it. I would rather skip the stories of stitching up my face in Thailand, or cut lips, or well, yeah, some of us just have ways of getting ourselves into weird situations. But eventually the bandage has to come off, and people ask questions.
Let’s get a little more clear. Sometimes we excuse our masks, our false selves and say everyone needs to just accept me being me. That part of just being isn’t what I think we need to keep, just to put that out there.
However, if the story has been hard and broken, just “be” with it, and have real conversations with God about the time you felt betrayed by Him, or whatever it was. Doesn’t mean you have to tell the whole world, but tell the ones that matter.
So back to healed hearts but wounds that won’t scab, and close up with a scar. We will have certain themes that follow us for life, unless God mercifully removes a thorn from our side. Can we accept those parts of the story, and just acknowledge for a moment that we will always “be prone to wander, prone to leave the God we love?” Maybe it’s rejection that keeps your walls in place. Maybe it’s pride, greed, or something else that you hide. Sometimes God helps us let down the guard, the false selves, and the coping mechanism we turn to, and with that, healing comes to our heart.
The wounds of the past can’t be replaced with a new story. If you were abused or neglected, you can not change the stories to be what you needed. Those stories will remain the same. To a certain point, you will have healing and will continue to heal, but the unmet needs will always be there.
We don’t revisit the past for excuses. We go there to find what lies we started believing. When we change our thoughts and beliefs, we change our lives. We may have been harmed, but the coping mechanisms and false selves and unredeemed stories have the potential to do more damage than whatever they did.
If you look back, there’s always a good chance that you will see times where you became more compassionate, more of an advocate because of what you experienced. If you allow yourself to become a better person instead of bitter, there is a good chance you will.
You will probably see pieces of God in it as well that you would never want to lose. Maybe it’s a story of praying that God would help you forget because you were too young to understand or deal with the situation. And then years later, someone apologizes for the situation, and instantly you remember for the first time what you asked God to wipe from memory. God honored that prayer. Maybe it’s a different way He came through for you.
When it comes to “Just Be” in our hard pieces, allow God to use those when He wants to. I remember once when God clearly prompted me to share a piece in Asia that even went against Asian cultural grain. The Interpreter was flipping out on me, but it was the truth. Days later, I noticed one girl was only coming to my class and not general assembly. One day we had a “glare down” because she didn’t believe the truth I was teaching. Non-verbal communication is real, especially if there are language barriers. Later, I found out she struggled with the same piece I had shared. Fast forward a few years, I ran into a man from her primitive village... a God story all its own because it was hours away from the village and we just ‘randomly’ walked into this house on our way somewhere else. She seemed to be doing better, from what he said. For the 3 years in between, she was a regular on my prayer list. In my heart, I believe that I will see her in Heaven and I can’t wait to really talk with not one single barrier like language or an obnoxiously loud and opinionated male Intrepreter from a female speaker to a female audience. So if God tells you to say it, put it out there, even if there is an uproar. And sorry. I don’t feel the urge to spill all and go into details of the hard piece. If you feel the urge to message and ask, I can tell you.
“Out of your greatest pain will flow your greatest ministry.” One of my favorite teachers had me questioning his statement for a while. But it’s true. When we talk about the hard things as He leads us to, God things happen. I remember a weekend where I was asked to share with youth girls. My sister thought I should not do it, and didn’t want to help with an aspect that I wanted help with. But I knew what God had said, so I did what I wouldn’t have chosen myself. And He blessed it in extraordinary ways as that group connected in ways it almost never had before.
Maybe it’s the redemptive theme of my life to tell people that this is true that “Out of your greatest pain will flow your greatest ministry.” Maybe your motif is a bit different, but let the hard pieces be used for His glory. Whatever we do, let’s drop our guards in the circle we find ourselves in, and share as the Spirit leads. There’s a good chance there is a “Me, too” just waiting to happen.
Own your story. The whole bloody, sweaty, sticky beautiful masterpiece is all uniquely and amazingly yours. People have told me that my version of ‘Noah’s flood’ would be a gold mine for years to come. I wanted to throw them overboard, but I know that there is truth in their words. I don’t see it all yet, but I believe somewhere the other side of the rainbow, I can cash in the gold pot and help someone for His glory.
SuperFood:
In 1 Samuel, it talked about difficult and depressing circumstances like his wives being kidnapped and taken for slaves, but “David encouraged himself in the Lord.”
In the Corinthians passages, Paul said his sufficiency is of God. He also talks about not being overwhelmed by hard stuff. Persecuted but not forsaken, cast down but not destroyed. Corinthians also talks about us comforting people like God comforts us.
The thing with super food is that we don’t seem to absorb it as well when life is good. It takes on meaning when we are desperately hungering and thirsting.
So be real with God, and let Him talk back to you. Whatever He has to say, expect profound. I was angry about a certain situation and why the redemption didn’t come till almost 15 years later... God asked me if life would have been easier if it hadn’t happened, resulting in me buying into lies? Umm, no. I don’t think God wants us to believe lies, but this is one of those times when He turned a bad situation into something for my good.
I often contemplate the truth of the words of the rat race lady of Myanmar... “A lot can be accomplished when nobody cares who gets the glory.” (Minus glorifying God) Let God be glorified in your whole story, including the hard pieces.
Sunday, June 23, 2019
Perspectives
"Maybe we should consider the possibility that we haven't been put in their lives to help them get healed. Maybe, in fact, the reverse can be true: that they are God's gift to us, showing us how to grieve, how to plumb the depths of hell and survive, and how to find grace." -Matt Bays
It's all in perspective. Maybe you don't question your life, and the situations around you as much as I can. My main question is not if it makes a difference. My main concern is whether I have the energy.
My former student gave a devotional recently, and quoted Oswald Chambers. I will rephrase the main concept. We are called to be exhausted. We are Jesus and His love, His energy to people until they directly connect to Him. We are called to exhaustion... Unless as Chambers goes on to say, we are constantly refilling where we need to- from Jesus. My student also talked about how the last mile is the hardest, and we should not quit, because we may almost be there. He is as brilliant as ever.:)
When situations go beyond our control or understanding, we have to grieve the losses. There's a lot of things wrong in this world, and nothing I do will change much of anything. All I know at the end of the day is Someone who walks with us, and isn't shocked by anything. Having Someone who knows the end from the beginning is comforting, but I think He also cries at the pain, the difficult with us.
Entering a living hell and surviving... There is something about walking in a dark alley full of hunger for all kinds of things that changes your perspective on life. The claws that reach to devour you aren't easily forgotten, and give a new compassionate understanding for those caught in their grasp.
Next time you experience any negative emotions, think about what is behind it. Often it's a good desire that wasn't met. It's a "hunger" for something, and at first glance it feels most powerful to choose the negative reaction vs. acknowledgement of the desire. Don't surrender to the negative, because that is where "hell" enters. I have experienced hunger for food to the point of it affecting my emotions. Ever since, I ask any behavior challenged child if they are hungry. It's a legit thing, people. I could change my situation and eat more, but they can't always.
At some point, you realize that the only way out is grace, and you desperately plead for it, for them, for you.
Perspective changes when you realize that without the drama, you would be a very different person. And at that point, you become thankful.
This journey is God's gift. His severe mercy. We pray for something, and He doesn't give it because He has our best interests in mind. Recently, He has shown me why He didn't answer a prayer from a long time ago. I'm thanking Him over and over and over again now. My life may be dramatic, but I also realized the drama I have been spared from. So if life hands you things you didn't want, just think about the wisdom of the person who said that if we knew what He does, we would choose the same story He did. It's a gift for us, His beloved.
So truly, Mr. Chambers wisely counsels us to go to the real Source of energy. We have to feast like Elijah because just like the angel told him, "The journey is too hard for you." And he went on that energy for 40 days. Read 1 Kings 19 for more details.
If I am going to keep entering the living hell of broken lives around me, I will need to have connections with the energy Source. I will also need the humility to say that they are His gift to me, teaching me how to grieve, how to live, and Who He really is.
It's all in perspective. Maybe you don't question your life, and the situations around you as much as I can. My main question is not if it makes a difference. My main concern is whether I have the energy.
My former student gave a devotional recently, and quoted Oswald Chambers. I will rephrase the main concept. We are called to be exhausted. We are Jesus and His love, His energy to people until they directly connect to Him. We are called to exhaustion... Unless as Chambers goes on to say, we are constantly refilling where we need to- from Jesus. My student also talked about how the last mile is the hardest, and we should not quit, because we may almost be there. He is as brilliant as ever.:)
When situations go beyond our control or understanding, we have to grieve the losses. There's a lot of things wrong in this world, and nothing I do will change much of anything. All I know at the end of the day is Someone who walks with us, and isn't shocked by anything. Having Someone who knows the end from the beginning is comforting, but I think He also cries at the pain, the difficult with us.
Entering a living hell and surviving... There is something about walking in a dark alley full of hunger for all kinds of things that changes your perspective on life. The claws that reach to devour you aren't easily forgotten, and give a new compassionate understanding for those caught in their grasp.
Next time you experience any negative emotions, think about what is behind it. Often it's a good desire that wasn't met. It's a "hunger" for something, and at first glance it feels most powerful to choose the negative reaction vs. acknowledgement of the desire. Don't surrender to the negative, because that is where "hell" enters. I have experienced hunger for food to the point of it affecting my emotions. Ever since, I ask any behavior challenged child if they are hungry. It's a legit thing, people. I could change my situation and eat more, but they can't always.
At some point, you realize that the only way out is grace, and you desperately plead for it, for them, for you.
Perspective changes when you realize that without the drama, you would be a very different person. And at that point, you become thankful.
This journey is God's gift. His severe mercy. We pray for something, and He doesn't give it because He has our best interests in mind. Recently, He has shown me why He didn't answer a prayer from a long time ago. I'm thanking Him over and over and over again now. My life may be dramatic, but I also realized the drama I have been spared from. So if life hands you things you didn't want, just think about the wisdom of the person who said that if we knew what He does, we would choose the same story He did. It's a gift for us, His beloved.
So truly, Mr. Chambers wisely counsels us to go to the real Source of energy. We have to feast like Elijah because just like the angel told him, "The journey is too hard for you." And he went on that energy for 40 days. Read 1 Kings 19 for more details.
If I am going to keep entering the living hell of broken lives around me, I will need to have connections with the energy Source. I will also need the humility to say that they are His gift to me, teaching me how to grieve, how to live, and Who He really is.
Saturday, June 15, 2019
The Prayer of the Children
This choir season, my favorite choir is singing the song you are probably familiar with: ''The Prayer of the Children". It strikes a raw chord with people who work in the field I do. There are so many broken stories I can't repeat for the sake of the children's privacy, but I will tell you that you don't have to go far to be able to find children begging for a little love. I can tell you of a few who literally go running crazy wild if you love on them cause they don't know how to handle it.
The most heartbreaking thing though is when you realize that all around you are adults who 'sang' this song as kids and never found 'loving arms' before they grew up. I will always remember the night she showed me the self inflicted cuts she had on her arm. I started crying because I realized she couldn't, and this was her "cry." I don't remember what all I said, but I remember her telling me to stop crying. Oh dear girl... It's not good to get emotional or react in front of struggling people, but I feel intuitionally that she needed to know her story is tears worthy.
While I was sitting at the mechanic shop this week, getting an oil change, the lady at the front desk and I got into a conversation. It's easy for people to throw money out there for you name it in situations like these mentioned above, but reality is, we need more bodies and people are willing to teach life skills, love, and enter into messy. It's hard to find people willing to make commitments like that. If you repeat the words of the song to yourself, it asks for loving arms away from harm, not for cash.
I understand we are all busy. I get it. I am, too. I am not calling anyone out. I just want to invite you to the rich life of making a small difference in a child's life.
As we enter into the story of the kids down the street, we find our own brokenness as well, and together we can all find healing in loving arms.
As a PS to this post, I pray that the current heartbreaking situation in Haiti, as well as for the roughly half of the global refugee populations (65.6 million in 2017) who are under 18 that are vulnerable to all kinds of abuse, that especially these would find loving arms away from harm. Amen.
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